your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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