I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
