Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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