So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize