Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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