omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
