I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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