their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
