Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize