hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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