I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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