I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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