She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
