My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
