So drunk, too bad you don't want this
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
