I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
