Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
