I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
