im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Randomize
