woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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