I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
