I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
