Reggie can tackle my bush.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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