Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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