I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
