Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
