Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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