I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
