BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
