So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize