google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
