So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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