absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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