I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize