i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
