Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize