I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
