I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
