I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
