Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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