dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
