Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
farters have to be the big spoon...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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