I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize