there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
