I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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