I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
