Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
