Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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