i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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