She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
