He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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