if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
