He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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