No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
