How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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