Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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