I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Found your dick twin last night
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Rumble strips road head = magical
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
