Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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